Getting What You Want

How do you get what you want? Here’s a simple, guaranteed method in five steps:

1) Define what you want. Be specific! When I was looking for a soulmate, I sent an “order to the universe” with the ten top qualities I was looking for. I learned this method from reading the book The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford (highly recommended). You’re not going to be the impossible diner who sends back the order to the kitchen, saying, “This is exactly what I ordered, but I forgot to mention X and changed my mind about Y,” are you? Whether it’s a soulmate, a new job, an income level, a health status, or anything else, define precisely what you want.

List ten attributes that define your perfect match. For a job, these can include such criteria as minimum pay, location, corporate values, type of work, type of boss, level of interaction with others, amount of travel, opportunities for growth, and whatever else will make you bounce out of bed in the morning. For a soulmate, you’re best off with ten character attributes, because everything else is less important to your happiness.

2) Be certain that you can and will have your order. Work on your inner game. You must inculcate in yourself and nurture the belief that you can and will have exactly what you ordered. There are no half-alert humans in the universal kitchens, only divinity. Trust that this abundant universe contains the perfect job or mate for you and that all you need to do is remove the barriers in yourself to allowing this. The mystic poet Rumi wrote, “Your task is not to seek for love[or a job], but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Simple but not easy.

A common barrier and its recommended deconstruction method? If you believe that you are not enough or too much of something, write this belief down on the left side of a sheet of paper. Continue with any other negative thoughts that come up about having exactly what you want. On the right side, write what a lawyer working on your behalf would reply. Whenever these thoughts appear in your daily life, talk back to your negative self-talk with the lawyerly response—and feel that the lawyer won the argument.

3) Devise a strategy based on experience—yours and others’. This is the step that people typically jump to, but note that it must not be undertaken until you have Steps 1 and 2 done in excellence. What’s the right strategy? Many different strategies can lead to success, and the best strategy for you depends on your assets and limitations. If you want a new job, you’ll probably want to network strategically on LinkedIn and in person, have a resume and cover letter than introduce you to advantage, and improve your interview skills. (These are all things that Your Edge for Success helps our clients with. People especially love Interview Aikido, our revolutionary new way of interviewing.)

4) Implement the strategy. What will you need to keep going until the result is achieved? Someone needs to hold you accountable to take the actions needed to achieve the result intended. Can you do this yourself with just a weekly plan, reminders in your calendar, and moral support from your partner or friends? Or would you benefit from weekly coaching and accountability sessions? (If you’d like the latter, ask me about our Executive Transition program that provides complete support throughout your three-month job search process.)

5) Change strategies as necessary until the result is achieved. Strategy’s not working at all within a reasonable amount of time, such as a month? Analyze where you could be missing the mark and pick a new strategy. Repeat as necessary. One caution: The new strategy should not involve undoing Steps 1 and 2 by, for example, deciding you were too picky and can’t have what you want. The new strategy should be changing the method by which you allow what you want to come to you.

Many clients come to us after a months- or years-long job search saying, “I’ve applied for over 100 or 200 jobs and haven’t gotten more than one or two interviews!” If this is the situation or yourself or someone you know, the first step is to stop and change the strategy. Becoming more desperate and less picky is the problem, not the solution. You ought to be able to find a job by applying to not more than 20 jobs with the right criteria, beliefs, and strategy in place.

As for a soulmate? After dating about 300 people in vain, I stopped and changed my beliefs and strategy. A few months later, I received my soulmate. Did he have all the top ten? Yes, with many bonus attributes and skills thrown in for free. We are getting married in June.

Your Edge for Success is DC’s top-rated writing services and career counseling service on Yelp. Please let me know if I can provide you or someone you know a free consultation to get you moving fast in the right direction. 

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”—Goethe 

Cheers to your dreams!